Got a video of the noise a minute ago. My phone's mic is too cheap to record it from the engine bay without it being drowned out by other noises, so I had to record it from the cab. At least this way you get to see rpms and oil pressure. The trans was in neutral, clutch out, and the truck was started for the first time that morning about 30s before I started recording. I also checked thoroughly for any oil pan dents and found it unscathed. After researching why​ dents cause issues it became apparent that the issue is when the low part gets rammed up into the pickup screen causing it to collapse and restrict. Mine is fine, and I should add that in order for that to happen you'd have to annihilate your steering in the process, as it runs right below the pickup's location.



Note the subtler knock on acceleration as well as the rattley clicking that is somewhat constant above 1700 rpms (extra obvious on decel).